Revealing Secrets

tellingsecretsRevealing a secret you’ve held from most people for most of your life is not easy. I thought that I needed to make it my mission to tell those around me I am bipolar because I really want to do my part in lifting this overwhelming stigma, but am I going about it the right way?

In my previous blog “One Step at a Time,” I told you how I planned to finally divulge my secret to the Lion’s Club. Well, days before I started having nightmares about turning into an alien, a monster, and even a serial killer, which left me feeling uneasy and apprehensive when it finally came down to the day. I almost called it off or just opted not to tell, but when only five other ladies arrived instead of the twelve I was expecting, I relaxed a little.

I presented the website to the ladies and then told them that I was bipolar. Unfortunately, I became nervous and had to stop to take a deep breath. The ladies took it all in stride and we all started talking about the commercial and mood disorders in general. We all agreed that the stigma is a major problem which might be alleviated if we talked about it more. I introduced NAMI to the ladies and then told them all about the treatment center for children and adolescents with mental illness.

We piled into a van and headed to the center, where we went on a tour of the facilities. The ladies were surprised with all the services available to the public. Even most if not all of them were outraged to learn that obviously needed programs were being cut because the government was pulling its funding. We talked a lot about mental health programs and the various levels of funding that is needed to operate such a wonderful center.

When we returned to our original meeting place, the ladies were thankful that we did and learned something different for a change. They even bragged to their husbands about having a good time.

The nightmares stopped afterwards when I realized that I was afraid and nervous that whole time before it was my first revelation. I was worried that I was going to be alienated from the rest of them, which wasn’t the case at all. I hope it won’t be awkward when I see them again.

I guess only time will tell if this will have a positive or negative effect on my life and/or the stigma in general.

Are there any instances in your life that telling people about your mood disorder has made a positive or negative impact on your life?

11 thoughts on “Revealing Secrets

  1. Laura November 2, 2009 / 8:57 PM

    Congratulations on “coming out!” I am so glad that you did. And very proud of you. I know it was a big step.

    • mydualities November 3, 2009 / 8:34 PM

      Hopefully, I stay “out” and with my head above the water.

  2. Bret November 8, 2009 / 6:02 AM

    I think that the only time I can remember coming out to someone as a positive was with another BPD individual. I have lost relationships, friends and family members to my being “honest” and I am truthfully sick of it. I hide from myself and really don’t know how to live fully in the moment as a result. BPD is a curse.

  3. "bipolar girl" November 10, 2009 / 3:11 PM

    Where ya been? Get to writing, girly! 🙂 Maybe we should brainstorm ideas to keep us going. It’s certainly a healthy exercise.

    • mydualities November 10, 2009 / 3:26 PM

      Your wish is my command. 🙂 Ohhh, that sounds like fun. What do you have in mind?

  4. "bipolar girl" November 11, 2009 / 7:04 PM

    LOL– not really sure. I’m sort of in a writing slump.

    • mydualities November 11, 2009 / 8:40 PM

      You’re in a slump? I hear ya. Well let’s see. You could talk about one of these….How did you and your husband meet? What was it like to work at a network broadcast studio? What is it like to be a journalist and meeting new people? What are some key personality traits that help you with your job? Ummm….I’ll keep thinking of some more. 🙂

  5. "bipolar girl" November 14, 2009 / 11:35 AM

    I had to delete my blog. I felt like it wasn’t going anywhere. I might start a new one. I’ll let you know, but until then… I’ll keep visiting yours.

    • mydualities November 14, 2009 / 12:23 PM

      Oh, that’s sad. Hey, did you get the job?

  6. Tracy November 14, 2009 / 3:13 PM

    No. They never called. I feel sort of sad too now for deleting my blog. I just felt like it wasn’t very good. I’m trying to think of a new one.

    • mydualities November 15, 2009 / 6:11 PM

      I understand about wanting to delete your blog. I feel the same way sometimes. Sometimes starting new again may be fun too though. Keep the faith in your writing and yourself. 🙂

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