While spending my day at work waiting for the printer to spit out copies, I kept thinking about other qualities I have. My therapist also floored me when she said I had a Type “A” personality.
What? I’ve always thought I was a type “B.” Did my last manic episode change me that much? I can’t be “A” because I let people boss me around and I’m messy because I loathe cleaning. How does that make me type “A”?
Then I looked deeper into my “normal” lifestyle and looked up type “A” personality again to refresh my memory.
1. I can’t stand not having something to do.
2. I like to organize, which is why it takes me about 3 days to clean my house when I do. Hmm.
3. I love working on projects.
4. I work until I’m finished or at a good stopping point.
5. It literally drives me crazy not know what time it is.
6. I like to schedule out my day to prevent being bored.
7. Can’t stand watching TV without crocheting or tired enough to nap.
8. I’m impatient. I detest waiting for some things.
9. “Short fuse”…um okay. That’s totally me and it is worse without my lithium.
10. “Overly sensitive”…wait. That’s type “A”? I thought I was that way because of being bipolar.
Hmmm. You learn something new every day. So, where does my personality stop, and where does my mania begin?
Now that is a nightly question for me when I fill out my mood chart. Because of my personality, I can mask mania easily until it becomes so severe I am already at the point of psychosis. Sometimes, I’m able to feel the build up because of my strong intuition, but I didn’t follow through with my mood chart for a whole year before my last break. Now, I stave off mania and depression by paying close attention to my moods and personality.
Anyone with a mood disorder should fill out some sort of mood chart. It may save your life.