Fear of Failure


“To not try something because of your fear of failure means you failed because you didn’t even try.”

I try telling myself this when I decide to do something, but like always it fails to get through my thick skull to keep going until I finish. Sometimes, I do attempt it but when it doesn’t come out just right, I quit. I’ve declared before on this blog that I’m a perfectionist, so this isn’t new to some of you. Those of you who do read this blog regularly probably realize that my blog isn’t as frequented by me mainly because of my fear of failure.

I put my writing on such a high pedestal that I tend to stop writing for fear someone will think ill of me or my writing or worse yet…think nothing at all about what I’m writing. No reaction is the worst reaction. That is why this blog suffers when no one comments; I don’t bother with it because I feel like a failure. I also have never published any of my poems, short stories or novels because of this same fear of no reaction or no one reading it.

My therapist pointed this out to me again today. My depression is bothering her and she thinks exercise might help defer it. She warned me to start small because I’m the type to try and do something extreme like join a gym and plan to go everyday but never go back after one day.

Oh wait…I did do that. 🙂

She said my personality was the type that if I couldn’t go and run a marathon, I might as well not even exercise. AMAZING! So very, very true. No wonder I am so overweight. I feel like doing even the smallest thing won’t make a difference anymore.

Why do I think this way? It’s not just about my weight. My whole being has to do it perfectly, or don’t even bother to try.

So how do you fix being a perfectionist at heart? What would you do in my situation?

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7 thoughts on “Fear of Failure

  1. learning2live2010 February 11, 2010 / 12:51 PM

    I know what you mean about working out… I’m the same way. I’ll join a gym and go religiously and then just stop one day and never go back.

    My doctor recently advised that I should go again so I’ve joined a new gym. It’s a little different this time because I have a lot more time on my hands, but I’m trying to make it last. Like you, I often wonder if what I’m doing is even going to make a difference unless I go FULL FORCE. But sometimes I think it has to be baby steps. Even a little helps A LOT.

    • mydualities February 11, 2010 / 9:24 PM

      Thanks Learning2Live, I agree that I need to at least start with the baby steps. I just have to also manage to find the time and convenience of making those steps. Is it bad to exercise right before bed?

  2. learning2live2010 February 11, 2010 / 9:45 PM

    hmm that’s a good question.. I’m not sure. If it doesn’t make it hard for you to sleep I don’t see why it would be a bad thing.. but who knows??

    • mydualities February 11, 2010 / 9:47 PM

      Good point. I’ll have to find out. Sleeping is very important to me.

  3. Laura February 12, 2010 / 12:17 AM

    Re: Exercising before bed

    It’s not bad to exercise before bed, but it’s not good either.

    If you are exercising within an hour or so before bed, it might make it difficult to sleep. BUT…exercising in general can help you sleep at night.

    And, since you were speaking of baby steps….keep in mind that cardio is cumulative. So…15 minutes here….15 minutes there add up quick.

    And…one final thought…start with baby steps (map it out on an adjustable timeline if you have an end goal in mind), but don’t forget about weight training, which helps with fat burning, bone density, and more!

  4. sunshineandrage April 24, 2010 / 8:45 PM

    I’m just like this. If I can’t do it full throttle I don’t do it at all, and I LOVE that saying at the top of your blog. Very nice. 😀

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