Sorry it has been a while since I’ve written. I guess I’m a little disheartened that no one ever comments on here anymore. I’ve also been depressed, really depressed. I think its lifting a little from where I was. I could at least do things today like clean the dishes and the cat litter, nothing too drastic, but it is better than it has been. I’ve felt so lost lately and alone even though my husband may be inches away from me. The hollowness, the detachment, the lack of interest in things, the close calls to falling asleep while driving, and the feeling of despair finally awakened me to the realization that I am depressed. Everyone around me saw it, but I just thought I was “sad.” I’ve never been as bad as my sister with depression so I never think I’m depressed when I am.
Today I do feel different than yesterday even. I hope I’m moving up in my cycle now, but I have to watch whether the depression ends up spiking into mania. Maybe I can have mania without becoming psychotic. . . probably better just to hope for stability.
Thanks for reading,