Well, I’m not tired right now and it’s midnight. Yuck! I think I drank too much caffeine today, but it probably was the panic I felt when I read Heather Whistler’s blog “Jumbling Towers” http://heatherwhistler.wordpress.com/about/. I panicked when I read that 90% of marriages fail when one of the partners are bipolar. Holy SH*T!!! I freaked before I actually read the article she posted along with that statistic, “Partners for Life: Beating the Bipolar Odds” by Michelle Roberts from BP Magazine http://bphope.com/Item.aspx/104/partners-for-life . The article was very informative and I suggest people read it!! Gosh, don’t scare me like that people! I think I was doing better before I knew that. Now, I’m freaking out! Wait…think of your husband and your relationship. Okay, I feel better. Few. The article gave good pointers that my husband and I already do and have done or survived through.
I’m calming down now, but I’m still wired. It makes me ponder on my relationship with my husband. Do I not appreciate him? Am I being selfish right now? Actually, I don’t think so. According to my therapist, I let my own self disappear behind my husband, my sisters, my brother, and my parents before I considered doing anything for me. However, now that I’m trying to step out of my cocoon with writing this book, my therapist tells me that I should start small like with short stories and poetry instead of writing a novel. Isn’t this blog starting small? Now I’m working up to something bigger. Besides, short stories and poetry don’t really cut it for me anymore. I did those back in high school and college.
Anyway, I want to write this novel. I’ve had the idea since 2007, but keep on letting people or my mood swings discourage me from writing it. I’ve gone through four different styles and I finally think I’ve found the right fit for me. Watch though. I go to publish it and I’m told the style is all wrong and needs to be rewritten. 😦 I hope not!!!
Well, I’m getting tired now…I hope. I’m going to try to sleep. Thanks for listening. 🙂