Can It Be Seen as a Gift or Just a Curse?


Well, I’ve been asked a very good question by Stephanie (mybipolarlife.com) in one of her blogs yesterday. It really made me think about how to answer her. I was glad someone noticed what I said and questioned me about it. She stated this in her blog:

                  “Thinking about part of a post Duals made and I quote, ‘I was tired of hiding my gifts and I think a part of me was still feeling grandiose when I believed writing this blog would really make a HUGE difference to MILLIONS of people world-wide, bipolar or not,’ it really made me think about the part where she said she was tired of hiding her gifts. Assuming she is referring to being bipolar as a gift…. is being bipolar a gift? If so, how? I have yet to see any gift in being it myself so far. Is there a gift in being bipolar? If so, I’d love to know so that I might have something to look forward to, cause right now the way I see it is nothing but pure evil and torture. Someone… humor me on this? Duals? Do I have a gift in store on down the road? Maybe I mistook what she was talking about ‘gifts’ so I am not for sure, so I am asking… that was just what I took from the post, so I may be way off.”

Stephanie made a good point. Can bipolar disorder be considered a gift? So, this is some of what I replied to her post…

“I do think in some ways being bipolar can be a gift. I don’t think you have ever read some of my earlier posts. I talked about it a lot when I was coming down from my psychotic phase in September 2009. The one about creative geniuses and the X-Men will clue you in. Have you ever read any Kay Redfield Jamison? She wrote a very good book called “Touched with Fire.” It’s an entire book analyzing bipolar disorder to historical and present creative geniuses of all time. She proves that great creative people like Van Gogh, Mary Shelley, Wordsworth, Blake, etc. ….all were bipolar. To me, I see it as a gift because it allows me to see a whole different perspective of this world than what a “normal” person can see. I FEEL everything more DEEPLY than any normal person can feel, which can be seen as a gift or a curse. It’s like looking at a glass of water…is it half empty or half full? Oh, you might also want to read my post “Why Did God Make Me Bipolar?” that explains my views too.”

I know many of you right now are probably thinking that I’m still being grandiose. Maybe I am, but when you know what it is like to be stable for a long time, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Read. There are many great books out there to help you understand bipolar disorder better and it will help you lead a more stable life. Hiding or ignoring it will not help. It will make it only worse.

Well, I have to stop. I just heard the worst news and I’m in tears now… 😦  Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m too upset to reread everything to clarify better.

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9 thoughts on “Can It Be Seen as a Gift or Just a Curse?

  1. Stephanie December 12, 2010 / 6:05 PM

    Yes, Duals…. I think it is definitely hard for anyone to see the good in this disease, but I guess if you look hard enough, some good can be found. I am slowing still seeking mine out. I am not to the point of seeing the good yet, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so having that said…. there must be some good to come of this horrible diagnosis. Thanks for letting me inspire you to post. 🙂 I feel special. And I also firmly believe in what you said in the end… hiding or ignoring this disease WILL NOT make it any better…. IT WILL GET WORSE. I am a PERFECT example of that. I had been ignoring it for a good year and a half, as well as my husband, and simply thinking that if I didn’t achknowlege it, that it would just dissappear. Boy was I ever wrong and what havoc it has wreaked on me and my family. I would NEVER advise someone to just ignore it. Worst mistake you can make. Good post Duals. And keep your chin up, everything will be okay. 🙂

    • mydualities December 12, 2010 / 6:41 PM

      Thank you Stephanie. I’m already feeling better. Just knowing that I will be going to my grandmother’s funeral and helping with the arrangements does help a lot. ***FYI: My grandmother passed away today, for those that don’t know already.*** I really appreciate all your comments and for being here when I needed to chat with someone, Stephanie. 🙂 It really helps to know you care. After tomorrow, I might not be on the internet, so please don’t feel affended if I can’t comment on your blog or read it daily. 🙂 I really do enjoy reading them and you know I can’t keep my mouth shut…. 🙂
      Take Care
      Duals

      • Stephanie December 13, 2010 / 5:49 PM

        Oh Duals

        You know I ain’t gonna be affended! 🙂 Girl! Don’t worry about me at all…. you go and take of your family and all right now. 🙂 Thats all that matters. I will miss you, and I will be here when you get back… God willing. 🙂 Talk to you soon!

        http://www.mybipolarlife.com
        Stephanie

  2. Heather Whistler December 12, 2010 / 9:29 PM

    I’m very sorry to hear about your grandmother, Duals. Keep your chin up!

  3. Frnzy December 13, 2010 / 11:55 AM

    Interesting post about artists they believe were bipolar. I think some people have also presented evidence that some of the best statesmen like Abraham Lincoln, were bipolar. I see it like this: not only can bipolar be a gift to the person themselves and also be considered an endearing, special trait by their loved ones, I think the world in general can see bipolar people as a gift to society. Just my 2cents, though.

    And in reply to Stephanie, I had this thought: I think eventually you’ll see bipolar as just this “thing” about you. Like being blind or growing up with no siblings. Just something special about your personality and experiences. Like it’s a bummer sometimes and all, but not “horrible.”

    Bipolar can become such an asset if you know how to recognize what kind of cycle you’re currently in and can take advantage of the times when you are at your most reflective or most compassionate or most creative or etc.

    And I’m sorry to hear about your grandma, D. Last time someone close to me passed, the funeral allowed me to see through some of the masks other people put up and find out who my real loved ones are. The people who truly are “there for me.” I hope you experience this as well. -F

    • mydualities December 13, 2010 / 12:11 PM

      F-
      I do hope this becomes a learning experience for me. It is also hard for me right now because my beloved uncle passed away in October…now my grandmother? People sometimes say things happen in threes…I’m kinda freaked out about who might be next. I really don’t know if I want to get on a plane now.
      Thank you for your comments about whether people should view being bipolar as a gift. I fully agree with you and I couldn’t say them better myself. 🙂 I did know about Abraham Lincoln and even Winston Churchill was believed to be too. Amazing how many of the greats in our history are/were!
      Thanks again!!
      Duals

      • Stephanie December 13, 2010 / 5:54 PM

        Girl! Don’t go there…. with the three’s I mean. Just let that go in one ear and out the other. 🙂 Enjoy spending time with your family this week. Talk to you soon!

    • Stephanie December 13, 2010 / 5:53 PM

      Thanks F-

      I long for the day that I see it like that. Who knows, maybe one day something really good will come of this. I would love to write a memoir about my journey with this maddness, so maybe. 🙂 If I can help just one person, then I feel good about it all. 🙂 I am slowly starting to learn my episodes, just like I know I am in a mixed state episode right now. Having that knowledge, from research and lots of reading, helps A LOT!

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