Well, I’ve been asked a very good question by Stephanie (mybipolarlife.com) in one of her blogs yesterday. It really made me think about how to answer her. I was glad someone noticed what I said and questioned me about it. She stated this in her blog:
“Thinking about part of a post Duals made and I quote, ‘I was tired of hiding my gifts and I think a part of me was still feeling grandiose when I believed writing this blog would really make a HUGE difference to MILLIONS of people world-wide, bipolar or not,’ it really made me think about the part where she said she was tired of hiding her gifts. Assuming she is referring to being bipolar as a gift…. is being bipolar a gift? If so, how? I have yet to see any gift in being it myself so far. Is there a gift in being bipolar? If so, I’d love to know so that I might have something to look forward to, cause right now the way I see it is nothing but pure evil and torture. Someone… humor me on this? Duals? Do I have a gift in store on down the road? Maybe I mistook what she was talking about ‘gifts’ so I am not for sure, so I am asking… that was just what I took from the post, so I may be way off.”
Stephanie made a good point. Can bipolar disorder be considered a gift? So, this is some of what I replied to her post…
“I do think in some ways being bipolar can be a gift. I don’t think you have ever read some of my earlier posts. I talked about it a lot when I was coming down from my psychotic phase in September 2009. The one about creative geniuses and the X-Men will clue you in. Have you ever read any Kay Redfield Jamison? She wrote a very good book called “Touched with Fire.” It’s an entire book analyzing bipolar disorder to historical and present creative geniuses of all time. She proves that great creative people like Van Gogh, Mary Shelley, Wordsworth, Blake, etc. ….all were bipolar. To me, I see it as a gift because it allows me to see a whole different perspective of this world than what a “normal” person can see. I FEEL everything more DEEPLY than any normal person can feel, which can be seen as a gift or a curse. It’s like looking at a glass of water…is it half empty or half full? Oh, you might also want to read my post “Why Did God Make Me Bipolar?” that explains my views too.”
I know many of you right now are probably thinking that I’m still being grandiose. Maybe I am, but when you know what it is like to be stable for a long time, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Read. There are many great books out there to help you understand bipolar disorder better and it will help you lead a more stable life. Hiding or ignoring it will not help. It will make it only worse.
Well, I have to stop. I just heard the worst news and I’m in tears now… 😦 Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m too upset to reread everything to clarify better.