I saw my therapist yesterday and she told me to stop worrying about other people and start worrying about myself. She’s trying to get me to become more egocentric, I think. Well, I’m not that way. I’d rather worry about other people rather than myself. She also told me that it is time that I seriously do something about my career path. She suggested going back to school and getting my masters in social work. Hmmm, maybe. I’ve done a lot of research on bipolar disorder and it is my passion to want to help others like me, but social work? I don’t know much about the various fields under psychology, so maybe that is what I should do first. See which field would suit me better.
I tried to talk to my husband about this, but he refused to say anything. He said that it is up to me and that he didn’t want to get involved like everyone else does because then it wouldn’t be my decision. Ugh! I’d like his opinion though! I realize that I need to make this decision on my own. Yuck!
I wanted to originally go back to school for communications design, but there isn’t many schools that offer it and those that do are VERY expensive. 😦 So here’s another option…social worker. Could I handle that job? I can see myself falling into a huge trap with that though. I tend to internalize everyone else’s problems. How can I make that a job without ruining myself? How can I learn to step away from the situation and say “it’s just a job?” I can’t. I couldn’t when I was teaching and that broke me. I couldn’t stand watching how bad the students had it and that I couldn’t do anything to help them. As a social worker, it is my job to help them…but what do I do when I can’t? Plus, will being bipolar cause a problem with that job? I’ll still have my mood swings to worry about.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I want to write to Kay Redfield Jamison more than anything right now. She works in the psychology field and she is bipolar. But the likelihood she would ever respond is very low. Why would she care? UGH!!! How do you make such an important decision about school and a career when even your own husband won’t help you?
Today, I have to create a newsletter and I have to wrap xmas presents. FUN, FUN, FUN!!! I’ll think about all this more.
Any possible suggestions of careers I should also add to my list? I really do need to do something NOW!