I couldn’t find another job and when my dad ordered me to show up next week during our family gathering on Christmas day, I couldn’t say no. I had no excuse! I couldn’t say “No, I don’t want to.” Besides, I can’t help wanting to help the company get better in some ways. However, me being here really doesn’t make much difference. I still have to do everything my Dad tells me to do even when I know his managerial skills suck and might hurt the bottom line rather than help it. You see, he’s a micromanager who has to control everything even when he’s not here. It really pisses me off.
Everyone tells me that working for family is an absolute no, no. Yeah. You tell that to my father. I’ve worked for him ever since I was 13 years old in one way or another. From being in the shop with the guys drilling sheet metal to being in the office designing literature for potential customers…oh, and I can build a control panel in less time than anyone else can do it. I’m literally the Jack of all trades here, so that is why I’m dragged back and that is why I can’t seem to say no. I know I’m needed.
Besides change can be very scary.
The only other job I’ve had was as a teacher for 3 years and that was HELL! I’ve got PTSD from working as a teacher! Can you F#*k’n believe that! It wasn’t the teaching that did it, it was the treatment I recieved from the administration. Holy hell! That is why I hate the question, “Do you think you would ever go back to teaching?” HELL NO! My last year, I would always feel dread when I woke up in the morning because I would always wonder if it would be the day I would get fired. My second year was heaven, that is why when the new administration came in my third year, I knew things were not handled properly.
My therapist thinks that just starting a new job might not be good for me either. I don’t know what to do. I feel like the cowardly lion saying, “Trapped. Trapped like rats…”
What do I do? HELP ME PLEASE!