Not to Try


Well, I have more time to write again. Lately, work has been really slow, so I spend my time trying to finish my novel. It’s coming along as a rough draft pretty well right now. I have my moments of creativity, but sometimes I’m just blocked. It helps to write because it distracts me from what I don’t want to think about: my dad’s health and the health of the company.

So, I’m trying to think of something else to talk about…. I’m feeling pretty lonely right now. My husband is on a business trip until Thursday, so I’m alone in this big house. 😦 I’m going to my sisters later today, so that should help.

I watched the academy awards last night and I was excited that Natalie Portman won best actress for Black Swan. If you haven’t seen that movie, it is awesome. I totally related to her hardships and Natalie did an amazing job of playing the part of becoming …well don’t want to ruin it for you. What did you think of the movie? I thought it was scarier than “The Rite” because I identified with it more I guess. I’d love to tell you more, but you really should go see it. Awesome!!

I haven’t seen my therapist in over a week. I miss her. The last session we had my husband came along to meet her. It was interesting to hear his interpretation on my relationship with my family. I guess my family is an unhealthy influence on me, but I don’t know how that’s going to change anything. My therapist wants me to discover myself… that sounds like too much work. I’d actually have to do something for me for a change. YUCK!!! LOL! JK!!

I never do things for myself. I don’t have an idea as to where to start. I need to find a new career, but how? My therapist thinks I should go into the field of psychology because it’s obviously one of my passions. She knows how much helping others cope with bipolar disorder is one of my goals in life, but I just can’t get my foot into any door. I don’t even know where to start. Of course, I’m using all this as an excuse not to try. I’m good at that too. Boy, am I.

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2 thoughts on “Not to Try

  1. Meredith March 12, 2011 / 12:37 AM

    Good to see you back! and good to see you are writing. My writing has suffered as I’ve gotten into my busy time. Creativity drained. I hope the writing keeps up for you and something will come to you with regard to a career. If you’re really serious about the psychology or mental health, a master’s is required. You could start there.

    • mydualities March 12, 2011 / 3:56 PM

      Thanks Meredith. I would love to go back to school to get a masters, but right now the funds are tight. I’ll have to wait for better times. 😦
      Duals

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