Can’t F#*king Breathe


Falling…soaring…breathe just breathe. My emotions sing but I want to cry. I want to crawl into bed but I can’t shut down. Fear.  It leads me to move on.  To where? I don’t know. I have no plans for the future. More of the same I guess, but oh do I want to do so much, but my body prevents me from doing them.

My asthma claws at my throat, choking me. I wheeze as I write this to you. Reaching out to no one in particular since no one cares. I started this blog hoping to make a difference to help me and maybe others understand bipolar disorder. I obviously failed. Oh well.

I write to write. Chop off my arm first if you want me to stop. I know I suck, but read away.

I just want to sleep more. I came down to Florida to relax but I can’t sleep. Yesterday, we arrived. Hopefully, my moods level out. But I forgot my asthma inhaler in Illinois. I hope I can get another one.

Stay tuned…

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5 thoughts on “Can’t F#*king Breathe

  1. Stephanie March 24, 2013 / 11:39 AM

    Oh Duals, my heart goes out to you girl! 😦 I’m so sorry you are feeling the way you are! I care, and I am here for you. I know how you feel and it sucks! If you can, try to close your eyes and take some deep breaths. I know that sounds easier than it really is. I’m listening… and your blog does reach others far more than you know. 🙂 promise!

    LYLAS ALWAYS,
    Stephanie

    • mydualities March 25, 2013 / 7:46 AM

      Stephanie,
      You always can put a smile on my face. The dark day I had yesterday slowly subsided once I did manage to get an inhaler. Problem is…I still feel off. Well, thank you for caring. I really appreciate you so much!
      LYLAS!
      Duals

  2. the secret keeper March 24, 2013 / 8:53 PM

    Thank you for reaching out to me. Bipolar sucks sometimes & when you cant breathe, well then it really messes you up. But it isn’t always that way. I write or do art & that helps me get thru some of the worse places. Keep writing. You are being heard. Hope you get an inhaler really soon. I’ll be back. jk

    • mydualities March 25, 2013 / 7:48 AM

      Thank you JK!
      I love reading what you have to say. You’re writing is truly art.
      Best wishes,
      Duals

      • the secret keeper March 26, 2013 / 9:46 AM

        Wow, Thank you. That is very kind of you to say that about my writing. Much appreciated. jk

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