Waiting for the End

cry_face_4056When something so important in your life is about to end, it really hurts. I’ve had a hard time dealing with the fact that my family business is definitely going to close its doors now. Seeing my parents completely shut down and my brother in a huge state of denial…sucks. But it also is having a large affect on me. I’m having nightmares and I am having a hard time keeping myself from falling into a depression or even a mixed episode. There is so much to do. Nothing really to do either.

One good thing about this is that it’s fueling my ability to write again. I’m well on my way to finishing my first draft of my first novel. I know it will take work still to perfect it, but I guess I have all the time in the world to work on it very shortly. I first have to spend my days cleaning and packing and sorting through what is in our work building. Yippy 😦 more work that’s not work, but physically hard on me too.

I feel like my best friend is dying and there is nothing I can do but sit by his bed side until he draws his last breath. It hurts.



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