Today, I went to see my psychiatrist, but when I arrived and was waiting for my appointment another lady came in to see my doctor. She was about an hour late and my psych was running very late. I overheard that she needed to see him to get her meds changed and I felt guilty. Guilty that I was about to see him next and I was fine. I’ve been very stable for a while, so I went to the desk and said that the lady could take my appointment and I’d see my psych whenever he was available next.
Suddenly, I felt like the receptionist was going to throw daggers at me. Even though they both professed that it was so nice of me to suggest that, they didn’t think the doctor would allow it.
Ok. I don’t know the back story, but come on. Why wouldn’t he allow that? I don’t get it. I was just trying to be nice.
That’s why I’m a little peeved that they didn’t accept. I’m wondering if they thought I had some hidden agenda or maybe they thought I needed to see the psych more than this lady because I’m obviously crazy to do something like that. Jeez! I’m so sick and tired of this world stepping on those that just want to help. Why am I the sick one when I try to help others, but those that cheat, manipulate, hurt, and deceive are looked on as NORMAL?! WTF is up with that!
I started to go to a book club around my area. I was flabbergasted when one of the women said that when someone does her a favor she wonders what is their motivation. Why would they want to help her? What do they get out of the good deed because no one does anything from the bottom of their heart?
What!? Really? Is that how the world really is? Am I just some naïve Midwesterner who doesn’t understand the world around her? Do I need a big reality check to make me more “normal?”