Life Sucks; Then You Die

writer I finished my first draft of my novel and now I’m tearing it apart and adding scenes too. I love this stage of the process! I love writing. I love the idea of being a writer. I hope I can publish my book when it is all finished. I’ve been reading a lot about how to publish. I need exposure though. Does anyone have any idea how I can do that? New writers don’t have it easy to get into the lime light. Oh, well. I guess I can worry about that later. I need to focus on my book right now. I kinda want to share it with you, but you don’t want to hear it. LOL! You’ll get a chance to read it when I’m finished. Are you excited? I know I am.

Actually, I’ve been pretty depressed lately. 😦 So sad! I sleep a lot, which makes getting my novel done really hard. I just want to curl up in bed right now, but I can’t. I have an important meeting to go to in 45 min., so I’m wasting my time on here.

I don’t know how to attract more readers to this blog anymore. I guess I need my manic energy back from 2009 to get readers to read about my bull shit life. Life really is a bunch of bull shit. Isn’t it? My favorite saying right now is: “Life Sucks, then you die.” So true. So true.

I need to find a new job, but what the hell can a bipolar fat freak like me do? How easy is it to get a job as a freelance copy editor? That’s what I’d love, but don’t know how to get started with that.

I’ve learned that I don’t have a choice in sitting on my fat ass anymore. I have to lose weight. Diabetes and GERD (WTF) is creeping up on me. Fun! I hate life. I think I’ve been eating my way to try to explode. A slow suicide of eating too much instead of starving myself. Does that make any sense? I probably shouldn’t publish this blog post, but who cares? No one but a very small amount will read it (Thank you for those that do.)

I still have half an hour. Do I keep writing or try to work on my novel? I should stop. You don’t care. I don’t care. I guess that’s it. TTYL maybe…


I started this blog four years ago! Yep, it’s been four years. Four years since my last psychotic episode that landed me in the hospital. Four years since in a manic frenzy I started this blog hoping to make a difference. Four years since my husband was truly educated as to what it would be like if I ever had another psychotic episode.

I wanted to centralize this blog on what it is like to be bipolar. I don’t know if I managed that. At times, I guess I do, but other times, I just mumble about what my life has been like at the time. A part of me thinks that that is my point. I’m what society would dub a normal mid-westerner, who happens to be bipolar. I think. LOL! My bipolar disorder has been (for the most part) under control since I went psychotic four years ago.

WTF! Who am I kidding! I’ve had my highs and my lows, but nothing too dramatic. I’m on a lower dive right now because I’m worried about my sister, but I was pretty high last Friday when I finished writing my first draft of my novel.

But who cares? Really? No one really reaches out to me on here and I don’t reach out to others either. (Stephanie–you cool!)

I don’t know what is wrong with me!

img_2103.jpgI wish I’d get an answer about whether I should reveal my name on here.

I’m going to explode. LOL! Just joking. I liked the picture and thought it represented my mood today.

Needing Expert Advice

Right now, I have mixed emotions. My sister’s cat has cancer. My sister found out today. She is very depressed so I’m with her now. All she wants to do is sleep though. Both of us are bipolar, so I’m worried about her.  She is not doing well even before this news because her other cat also passed away two months ago.

However, I feel guilty that I am bursting with happiness over the fact that I finished the first draft of my novel!

I’m reading an excellent book about writing your first novel. Great tips! One of them is to write a blog….okay, I’m doing that but I’m not using it to my full advantage.

Help! Should I reveal on this blog who I am? My book is also about being bipolar, but I want people to read it without knowing that fact first. I don’t know what I should do.

Please tell me what you think.