Who’s Behind that Curtain?

Tongue out emoticonI’m a freakin’ idiot!

I can’t sleep all through the night and of course I don’t take Melatonin to help me sleep like my psychiatrist told me to. Ugh! It’s like I want to go manic or psychotic. Maybe I do. I miss that feeling of euphoria and the creativity that goes with it.

But I can’t afford to lose my mind right now. I need to keep control. I need to FINISH my novel. I need to work on getting it published. I need to achieve my dream!

I want to know that my dream to be a writer in high school really did come true. Even though I let road blocks be thrown in my way of that dream, I want to know that I eventually pushed them aside and realized it. I want to look on a shelf and see my name smiling back at me.

I was thinking about using a pen name, but I realized that I don’t want to do that. I want people to know that I wrote that. I don’t care that it might lead people to meddle into my personal life. I want to be an open book. I want to announce of this blog even that…guess what…I have been writing on here for almost five years.

I write blog after blog with little interaction from people. I crave the notoriety. But not many of my posts are read. I am gaining followers slowly and I thank you all for that. I just wish you’d say hi and tell me a little bit about yourself and what attracted you to my blog. How can I make my blog more appealing? Should I identify who I really am? I don’t remember my reasoning for hiding it anymore. I really don’t.

I feel like I could do so much more by revealing who I am. I feel like people that know me will see that being bipolar isn’t as bad as people portray it to be sometimes. I believe I am a good example of someone that has a mental illness, but does not let it control her life. I find it funny when I tell people I’m bipolar and they say…wow, you don’t act bipolar.

Yes. Yes I do. Pay attention next time.



One thought on “Who’s Behind that Curtain?

  1. becci johnston November 29, 2014 / 1:34 AM

    So, its 6:37am. I am still awake. Did I take my quitiapane to make me have the much needed sleep my body craves….,.errrr……nah! Because instead I feel pretty much overwhelmed with the amount of shit strewn through my house, the cluster fuck of emotion in my pounding brain, and the guilt of once again feeling like world’s worst mum
    Earlirt tscyto organise and declutter the 3bedroomed home share with my 2kids and our blaclk Labrador, onyx.
    Plan was : get ready for Xmas, feel empowered and focus. (A tidy space an all that jazz lol!
    I succeeded in emptying every draw/cupboard/wardrobe in the entire house and created small chaotic piles of crap all over the place!
    The idea was to tackle it through the night.
    The reality is lying on my bed trying not to fall asleep as my kids will be up soon!
    I realise this post is a few months old. But you should know, I found your blog after searching for a story I could relate to. Your blog is witty, inspirational and deliciously candid. I plan to start my own, as I embark on my lithiium therapy plan.
    I’m 30, I live in Coventry, England and am a single psrent,
    I’ll maintain my secret identity when I write my story, because only then will I be able to be completely honest.
    5 years of blogging is a major commitment, and I hope to feel as accomplished as you must
    Thannk you for sharing your thoughts with me and the world xxxxxxxxxx

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