My Give-A-Damn

fuck-off-i-don-t-give-a-damnHow is everyone today? I’m feeling down because of a stomach flu. 😦

If my stomach would stop hurting, my mood would probably be great. The sun is shining and I took the day off.

Well, what do you want to hear about first?

I now have 6 Beta readers and my younger sister finally finished reading my manuscript. She said she liked it, but she noticed the holes. She gave great ideas as to how to fix them. 🙂 Now I’m going to wait from the other readers and see how exactly I should go back to the writing process. I just don’t know how long I should wait. I’m so anxious to get back to writing.

Now as for my medication… Has anyone out there used Lithium ER? I’m using it, but 900mg of regular Lithium had my level at .5. Now my Lithium level is .4 on 1200mg of ER. WTF!!! Two weeks into the higher dose I finally stopped feeling like a zombie. NOW Friday, I was instructed to take 1500mg of ER. So since Saturday, I’ve been on the highest dose of Lithium I have EVER been on. I suffered from Lithium toxicity on this amount of mg in 2000. So here is my question… is ER really not as affective as the regular Lithium?

Mood wise though…at times zombie-ish, but sometimes okay. However, I think I’m becoming more depressed. Maybe it’s the stomach flu I have today, but all I want to do is cry in a dark corner right now.

My GIVE-A-DAMN has disappeared when it comes to work. I really don’t care what happens to the company. I just want out. I want to find a new career that doesn’t include my family anymore. I want to finally grow some balls and walk away.

Touch Me

Maya Angelou quoteMy body is getting use to the increase in Lithium. Phew, it didn’t take long. I’m pretty stable and I’m liking it now. I just needed to give my body some time I guess.

I finished my third draft to my manuscript. I sent it out to Beta readers, but I wish I had more than just 2 right now.  How do you find beta readers anyway and how many is the right amount? I’m looking for those that have experience in the publishing business. Well, hopefully 2 will work for right now.  I just have to wait to see what they say about my novel. I’m so excited. I’m taking a break from the book now and I’m trying to learn how to write query letters and what I will need to do to find an agent.

If anyone could give me any advice in the publishing business, I am all ears!

Very recently, I turned 34! Wow, I feel older than that actually! I guess that is what happens when you marry a man ten years older than you. 🙂

For those wondering about my marriage because you have been following…my husband and I are maintaining the status quo. I don’t think that will ever change. I’m pretty sure with our avoidance of the topic and issue, we have decided not to have children. I don’t know how I feel about that. Actually, I’m relieved. Knowing my luck, my husband will say tomorrow…let’s try to have a baby.  WTF! LOL! Ah, really? No. I doubt that very much. He’d have to touch me first.


zombi bunnyWhat the hell is wrong with me?  I set a deadline for June 9 to have my 3rd draft ready to send to my beta readers, but I’m procrastinating on working on it. UGH!!! I could have spent the last two hours working, but instead I’m on the internet.  Jeez! My head is just not in it. I’m pissed my psych had me up my lithium. Why? Now I’m on 1200 mg of ER Lithium and at times I’m a fucking zombie. DAMN! Right now, I’m pissed. GRR!!!

I hate change. Why the hell does my new psych want to change my meds? I liked my slightly unstable stability. I was happy with that. Now I have a headache trying to think to write just this post.  😦

I’ve been Zombified!