I’m jealous. I see others on twitter excited about doing NaNoWriMo this month and writing their hearts out. I wanted to join my name in their ranks and forget about all that I have to do to concentrate on writing, but I didn’t. So now I have some time to write and what do I do? Sit and stare. No inspiration is coming. I feel so tired right now though. It is a chore just thinking of what to write on this blog.
Sunday morning, I forgot to take my meds which includes my Lithium. Oops. I didn’t realize it until about 7pm when I felt so drained and had a huge headache. Too late to take them then. When Monday morning came, I was shocked. I slept all through the night without waking up once to go to the bathroom. I felt energized and awake for the first time in a while. I usually wake up 2-3 times a night. I knew that my dry mouth and frequent urination didn’t start until after my psychiatrist increased my Lithium from 900mg a day to 1200mg, to 1500mg ER, and now to 1800mg ER. I told my Endocrinologist that I had those symptoms but she thought it was the Lithium increase. I told my psychiatrist who said it had to be that I was diabetic already and my endocrinologist wasn’t doing her job because I could not possibly be having issues with the lithium. My level was too low.
WTF! I’m sick of people not listening to me because I don’t have MD at the end of my name! I told my current psych that in 2000 I suffered from Lithium toxicity and became psychotic because of it, but I did not know what my lithium level was. Ever since, ALL my psychiatrists have always kept my lithium level low. If they believe me to be stable enough, why mess with it? No, she thinks she has to up my lithium because she took me off of my abilify. Then after upping it, I complained I was getting depressed which is not like me. So she upped it more. Now I can’t sleep, I’m irritable, and I so very tired. I just want to go to sleep.
Because of sleeping through the night because I forgot to take my lithium, I now have proof that my hypothesis on the increase of lithium is right. I’m less stable than I was before because I’m not getting enough sleep. I see my psych next week. If she doesn’t decrease my lithium, I’m going to have to go to another psychiatrist. I can’t handle not getting enough sleep at night anymore. I know that at this rate not sleeping is not the only thing I have to worry about.