depressed girlI feel like the walls are coming down around me and all I want to do is scream. I can feel that at moments I’m losing it. I can’t control my frustration and anger anymore around some people. My twin received a huge lash from my whip on Sunday because I’m worried about her decisions lately. She’s dating a guy who moved in with her and her son after knowing him for less than a month and she finally tells me the truth that he has had 5 kids with three different women in his past. I don’t understand how this is not raising a major RED flag for her, but she preaches that he’s learned from his mistakes and that he’s changed. Yeah right! A leopard can’t change his spots. It’s now been 2 months of dating and she is already talking about marriage… he married all three of these previous women too, so he’s not afraid to act like he’s committed at least.

That’s one frustration. The second is I’m still dealing with my parent’s house that has the tenants from hell destroying the place.

The third is that I’m in a writer’s group and part of their committee that is holding a huge conference in 2016 and I feel like they don’t give a shit about me or my ideas. I’m really thinking I’m going to have to quit the group because it is not helping me with my writing and I feel like dog shit every time I leave the meetings. When you don’t feel appreciated, it’s time to walk away. If I do it now, it gives them time to replace me on the committee at least.

If you forgot, I’m also in a service organization and I’m an important secretary, so I’m too busy with that too to worry about the writer’s group. I didn’t volunteer for the committee in the writer’s group anyway. I said I’d help the committee when the conference happens, but then they announced the I was the first to volunteer for the committee maybe ten minutes later and I didn’t have the heart to correct them.

My fifth frustration is the fact that I’m now running my parents’ company with very little help from them and no one is being appreciative. Rumors between some of the workers is that I’m irresponsible and scatterbrained and they should be in charge. Then they turn around and don’t do their job and make my job 10x more hectic. WTF! I’m really sick of people’s bull shit right now.

At least my own writers group that I’ve organized myself is going well. We just seem to make the meetings for the nights that become treacherous due to snow storms. Besides, I haven’t been able to write since October. I have nothing new to offer and I’m at a stand still with my first book because I don’t like how I ended it. I laid out how I want to write another paranormal romance series, but I realized that I don’t think I want to go the romance route anymore. I like to read romance but when I go to write it, only the typical cliched scenes come to my head. Nope. Not good.

Well, I hope everyone else is having a good 2015 so far. I know I’m not starting out that way. Hopefully, it will change.

Best Wishes to you!