Smoldering


smoldering woodsSorry it has been so long since I’ve written. I sometimes wonder if anyone reads these anyway, so I don’t bother as often as I should.

The last post I talked about my dad’s health. Amazingly, my dad is so much better after surgery. He’s back hard at work, which is great because we are busier than we’ve been in years.

Now, I find it odd. I was so worried about what I will have to worry about in the future if my dad did pass away, that I didn’t bother about thinking about the future if my dad came out of his health issues …healthy. I feel like my parents want everything to go back to how it was before my dad got sick. They want control of everything and see me as another child of theirs that is living off them. They don’t recognize or care that I work my ass off for the company and get treated the same as my brother who hasn’t been at work the last month even though I’ve been working 55 hour weeks including Saturdays.

I’m not bitter. I’m not. The fuck I’m not.

I’m so angry. I want to just walk away and say, “Here you go. Have fun with that. Oh, you don’t know how? Then go suck it.”

I just can’t seem to walk away. What the hell? I never wanted to work for my father’s company since the day I started working there at 13 sorting bolts and sweeping floors. I went to college majoring in English believing it would be the farthest career path away from them. Taught 3 years in Hell and then came back with my tale between my legs. Now, 10 years later, I’m now running things mostly but my parents don’t think I’m doing a good enough job. They want control again, but they want me to do the work since they don’t seem to know how anymore. I’m doing 5 people’s jobs and my brother is never there, but they think we should be equal because they shouldn’t pick favorites. Isn’t that what their doing?

I told them 6 years ago I wanted this situation changed. They completely ignored me and let this shit continue. Meanwhile, my anger is smoldering.

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