Waiting for the End

cry_face_4056When something so important in your life is about to end, it really hurts. I’ve had a hard time dealing with the fact that my family business is definitely going to close its doors now. Seeing my parents completely shut down and my brother in a huge state of denial…sucks. But it also is having a large affect on me. I’m having nightmares and I am having a hard time keeping myself from falling into a depression or even a mixed episode. There is so much to do. Nothing really to do either.

One good thing about this is that it’s fueling my ability to write again. I’m well on my way to finishing my first draft of my first novel. I know it will take work still to perfect it, but I guess I have all the time in the world to work on it very shortly. I first have to spend my days cleaning and packing and sorting through what is in our work building. Yippy 😦 more work that’s not work, but physically hard on me too.

I feel like my best friend is dying and there is nothing I can do but sit by his bed side until he draws his last breath. It hurts.

 

Don’t Bail On Me!

Guess what! I’m totally psyched! I’m freakin’ happy as all hell right now…totally been hypomanic to manic this past week! Do you remember my last post I said I was worried because work was so slow…NOT ANY MORE! YES! Some how God heard our prayers because our sales look good right now…could be better, but I’m so happy to know that we are back.

I’ve been working ten hour days to get shit done, so I’m on full energy overload. I can’t stay asleep for very long, so I’m worried about that. I haven’t seen my therapist in 3 weeks…not a good time to vacation. 😦  I see her this Thursday before I go to Vegas with hubby for his work. Totally psyched about that because I love it there…mainly because I also love to gamble. My bad.

Jeez…I totally love Rihanna’s new song “S&M” …(listening to it right now)Β he, he, he. I also can’t get enough of Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts”. They are totally different but totally cool.

So how is everyone been doing? It’s hard for me right now to keep up with everyone’s blogs. I’m so sorry! I love you guys! Don’t bail on me.

Recap: Work…good. Book…

Oh, I didn’t tell you about that. Rough draft is more than 1/2 way done. 140 pages so far double space, 1 inch margins…what constitutes as too long? I still have so much to write ahead of me. All in my head…just got to put it down. My mom actually read my first two chapters and she loves it. She’s looking forward to reading more. Hmmm. Maybe I am a good writer after all. I’m very psyched about this too because my mom can’t lie very well, so I know she really did like it. πŸ™‚

Oh, I bought the movie Due Date today. Saw it in the theaters and LOVED IT. FREAKIN’ HILARIOUS!! Robert Downey Jr. is my hero! (Oh, heard he is bipolar too, but don’t quote me on that. Can’t trust everything you read on the internet! ROFL! LMAO! I crack myself up sometimes.)

Okay…I hope you got why that was so funny…your reading this on the internet…get it! But no joke. I did read that he is bipolar. Wouldn’t that be so cool to meet Robert Downey Jr. or at least talk to him on the phone… or even an email!! Hint: If you are reading this, Bobby, send me a “what’s up?!”

Wishful Thinking…

Probably should go to bed now. Well, try. πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading this long update. It’s been a while…hope you’re all still out there.

Love Ya!

Duals

Nothing has Changed

I really don’t know what to say, but I want to give you an update. Working for my parents is still hard as ever. They didn’t do crap while I was gone, so now I have a ton of work to do and it all should have been done weeks ago. I’m not very happy. Actually, I’m really pissed off. Plus my dad is treating me like his “bitch” instead of an important asset to the company. My opinion does not matter on things, but he wants me to do everything. WTF! Plus, he is pissed when I took Tuesday off because I had my regular appointment with my therapist and I live an hour away, so it didn’t make sense to come in before or after the appointment. So, now he ordered me to change my appointments or not see my therapist anymore. DICK!!! THEN, he didn’t come in to work yesterday at all, so I had to do work that I just know didn’t matter because he’ll say he wanted it done this other way blah, blah, blah. He so micromanages that I don’t get things ever accomplished! He’s going to put me into another psychotic episode if he keeps this shit up! Maybe I’ll just go Bipolar on his ass. LOL!

Sorry for the short update. I need to get to work. 😦 I’m here already, but no one else is and I finished what I needed to supposedly do yesterday. So waiting. If only I could be cut loose. This place needs a lot of work and improvement, but EVERYTIME I work on a major project to improve how things are done around here. It is left on the way side, distroyed, ignored, ridiculed, or left unfinished. 😦   I’ve worked here for over 15 years and nothing has changed.