I’m Totally Stressed Out!

Lately, I’ve been doing pretty well with my moods, I think. I honestly haven’t been paying close attention like I was after my last manic episode. As I step back now, I can tell by my writing and my activity even on here that I was still manic till about October. Of course at the time, I didn’t think that. I thought I was “normal”, but …I was doing so many projects at once. I still had a mission to change the world. Now, I’m lucky to find the time to think about my bipolar disorder when I take my meds at night. I don’t do my mood chart anymore. I think I’ll start doing that again because I need to focus; especially, since my therapist has been on a leave of absence for the last two months.

The great stresses that sent me in the hospital with a psychotic episode in August are back.

• Work again looks bad at this point for this year. However, last year it really did pick up after my time in the hospital.
• A certain coworker/relative irritated me all the time, no matter if he is at work or at home. Usually, it is because he is at home instead of working that drives me crazy. However, when he is at work, he thinks he should be my boss because I’m “beneath” him. Total BS!
• My boss’s health is sometimes questionable.
• I was writing a memoir about my life and my psychotic episodes.
• My husband’s health was also not perfect.
• My husband and I wanted to have a baby, so I went off my meds which allowed me to keep my bipolar disorder in check because I did not take time to step back to examine me.

Not to mention, I now have additional stresses to worry about for this coming year.

• My husband and I will be very active in the Lions Club this year and will be going to Australia in June.
• I’m trying to write a novel.
• There is a divorce going on in my family, maybe another later.
• Now that certain coworker/relative is in love and wants to marry a woman he met in the Philippines just a few weeks ago.
• And I’m thinking of going off my meds right now to have a baby. What the hell am I thinking?

I know what I’m thinking. My husband and I want a baby, a child in our lives at some point. We know that with our ten years age difference, I’ll be 30 and he’ll be 40, we really need to start trying now, but how long will the trying last? After last time, we tried for six months and nothing happened because we had other circumstances that just made it impossible to conceive and then I went into the hospital. I returned to birth control, lithium, abilify, and seroquel.  We will have to make major changes in our lives if I am to go off my medicine again.

Problem is: I don’t know how to do that. What should I do?

Country in Crisis

As I begin to write this, it is Tax Day, April 15, 2010. Since what I am about to write may or may not make you angry, I am going to take my time writing and editing this, which I feel is important. I am writing this blog to exercise my first Amendment right “to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” If you’re not interested in politics, just stop reading now.

 I realize that this is the first time I am being political, but I am speaking out because I feel frustrated with the current situation our country is experiencing. I am speaking out as a moderate American. I love this country for its freedom to do just that. I am a white, bipolar female, college graduate, ex-teacher, entrepreneur who agrees with pro-choice, but wants a small government who upholds the United States Constitution and fundamental principals the United States of America’s founding fathers held dear to their hearts. I will vote a certain way on Election Day depending on who I believe is the “lesser of two evils” because our government only supports two political candidates. Of course our Constitution allows for more, but politically everyone knows a third party is political suicide for that third party and one of the other political sides depending on the ideology of the third party.

 But I digress…I am really here to appeal to all Americans to ignore the bias press and pick up or click online the United States Constitution . Read it. (The one online even comes with a constitutional dictionary.) You will see that our American way of life weakens as patrician propaganda rallies their agenda across the television and radio networks. They point fingers, but don’t allow the average American to get just the straight facts anymore. There is always a spin in the media.

 Currently, I am severely concerned with what direction this country is heading. We are suffering dearly during this economic down turn. According to the Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch, 8.1 million jobs have been lost in two years and there is no apparent relief coming from anywhere to add more than 200,000 jobs a year. What would be the solution?

 Instead of hearing logical approaches to this very important crisis, we hear about President Obama passing the Health Care Bill, the continual debate about Cap and Trade, and the signing of a treaty to negotiate with Russia about Nuclear Weaponry. We also hear about the “Tea Party Activists” causing problems because of their protesting against President Obama. So where are the new jobs going to come from? I don’t see it. All I see are questionable new policies that may or may not be upholding the U.S. Constitution.

 The Health Care Bill forces everyone to own health care or be penalized by the federal government. Employers who don’t offer health care will be penalized. Moreover, those that receive health care through work will be forced to itemize that value and place it on their W2 forms so it can also be taxed as income. Okay, so how is this unconstitutional?

 Some lawyers are saying that it goes against the 10^th Amendment, which states, “Powers of the States and People: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” Basically, if you read the rest of the Constitution you will see that health care is never mentioned anywhere. So that means that without a Constitutional Amendment, Health Care is up to the individual or the State to rule upon, not the federal government. That is why States are filing suit against the Health Care Bill.

 Ah, my readers right now are ready to condemn me because the Health Care Bill does so much for those of us that are Bipolar. I know, but I feel like something so important as Health Care still needs to uphold the Constitution. It should not be a bill full of pork that no one person can fully digest. It doesn’t need to be so massive.

 As an American, I implore you to stand up for the Constitution and force our Government to uphold the law that this country was founded with every bill they pass no matter whether they are Republican or Democrat.

 Please feel free to comment. I love reading about what you think.